Jessamywell, f***
March 5th 2008 05:49
Prettttty much the title of this blog is the general gist of it. I mean, I could've had the title as "well f*** me sideways and give me cheeseburger", but I have this feeling that would attract some weirdos. Well, more than the usual amount, anyway.
As we all know, or at least should, I seem to encounter an unusually high amount of....males (I hesitated to call them either guys, or men. Boys is appropriate, but in this case he wasn't even that) that have a tendency to behave awfully. Well, not always awfully. Some of them are quite nice. I know (and now live with) a few very acceptable guys that I haven't killed, castrated, or otherwise. But, my point here is that right now, the only male I can tolerate is the one in my fish bowl. And he is only apparentely male, it's neither confirmed or denied that he is so.
I have observed, and noted, that most people think it's just awful when they think someone likes them, and is given a very strong impression that they do, and then they are given the same same same samey samey samey same excuse that has been heard countless times before. As in one of the following:
1) They're busy right now. As in super busy with work/their new career/their car/their hobbies/their family/ curing cancer/discovering a new planet.
2) They think it's moving too fast and they want to slow down. As in, right down to the point of 'coffee occasionally' and 'we'll talk soon'. Yarright.
3) They think you're a 'great girl' and 'hope you understand' and then when you don't, they sulk. But yet, they don't actually give a reason, and expect you to suck it up, princess.
4) They just disappear off the face of the earth, and unless you've done 3 years of hardcore crack training in the C.I.A you'll never be able to hunt them down, so just give up now, dang it!
And now, here are my rebuttals to all of these. Because I literally have heard all of these in the past two months, and I am verging on bitter, and cynical.
1) You're busy? Wow, well done, so I am. And yet, if you liked me, I think you'd be able to make time. I could be something you look forward to fitting in amongst everything else. No one is so busy that if they don't find someone they really like, they'll sacrifice hanging with that person for things such as work. Jeezus.
2) You think it's moving too fast? And yet you didn't say so the other night, when....well, I'll stop there, but you get the general idea. My point here is, it's only moving too fast when you freak-the-f***ity-f***-out and decide that you value your 'independence' and convince yourself that some poor girl is acting too clingy.
3) You won't think I'm 'so great' if I actually 'don't understand'. Here's the part where I would act almost socially retarded and literally pretend to not understand. At all. Ever. Because, let's face it, if he gives this excuse he should be put through the absolute worst conversation in history, trying to explain himself without giving a reason. I just keep saying 'But I don't understand. No, I don't. I know I'm intelligent and fasntastic, but this- I just don't understand. No, I'm sorry, but you're right I don't speeeeeak morrrrrrrron'.
4) If he disappears, you have two options: hunt, hunt, hunt (or as I like to think, in a slightly less stalker ish way, chase chase chase), or you can pretend he never existed. One's sliiightly less dignified than the other, and I'll let you take a guess at which. Regardless, anyone who disappears like this is the worst of the worst. They repulse me, simply because they are cowards. I hate it when guys pussy-foot around something, and simply avoid the issue. This is why some men have no balls figuratively, and therefore deserve to also literally not have some. Or earn them. Or something. There's a whole new blog :How Men Could Earn Their Balls. But I digress.
My point here is, don't settle for these excuses. Ladies and men, both alike (although I have written it from a female perspective, I guess it could apply for females also. Although recently, no female has told me things are moving too quickly).
So, I repeat once again, there are nice guys that I know. But I am currently bitter, pissed off, and needed to vent. And now we all know the excuses that I, and possibly the rest of the female world, are sick to goddamn death of hearing
As we all know, or at least should, I seem to encounter an unusually high amount of....males (I hesitated to call them either guys, or men. Boys is appropriate, but in this case he wasn't even that) that have a tendency to behave awfully. Well, not always awfully. Some of them are quite nice. I know (and now live with) a few very acceptable guys that I haven't killed, castrated, or otherwise. But, my point here is that right now, the only male I can tolerate is the one in my fish bowl. And he is only apparentely male, it's neither confirmed or denied that he is so.
I have observed, and noted, that most people think it's just awful when they think someone likes them, and is given a very strong impression that they do, and then they are given the same same same samey samey samey same excuse that has been heard countless times before. As in one of the following:
1) They're busy right now. As in super busy with work/their new career/their car/their hobbies/their family/ curing cancer/discovering a new planet.
2) They think it's moving too fast and they want to slow down. As in, right down to the point of 'coffee occasionally' and 'we'll talk soon'. Yarright.
3) They think you're a 'great girl' and 'hope you understand' and then when you don't, they sulk. But yet, they don't actually give a reason, and expect you to suck it up, princess.
4) They just disappear off the face of the earth, and unless you've done 3 years of hardcore crack training in the C.I.A you'll never be able to hunt them down, so just give up now, dang it!
And now, here are my rebuttals to all of these. Because I literally have heard all of these in the past two months, and I am verging on bitter, and cynical.
1) You're busy? Wow, well done, so I am. And yet, if you liked me, I think you'd be able to make time. I could be something you look forward to fitting in amongst everything else. No one is so busy that if they don't find someone they really like, they'll sacrifice hanging with that person for things such as work. Jeezus.
2) You think it's moving too fast? And yet you didn't say so the other night, when....well, I'll stop there, but you get the general idea. My point here is, it's only moving too fast when you freak-the-f***ity-f***-out and decide that you value your 'independence' and convince yourself that some poor girl is acting too clingy.
3) You won't think I'm 'so great' if I actually 'don't understand'. Here's the part where I would act almost socially retarded and literally pretend to not understand. At all. Ever. Because, let's face it, if he gives this excuse he should be put through the absolute worst conversation in history, trying to explain himself without giving a reason. I just keep saying 'But I don't understand. No, I don't. I know I'm intelligent and fasntastic, but this- I just don't understand. No, I'm sorry, but you're right I don't speeeeeak morrrrrrrron'.
4) If he disappears, you have two options: hunt, hunt, hunt (or as I like to think, in a slightly less stalker ish way, chase chase chase), or you can pretend he never existed. One's sliiightly less dignified than the other, and I'll let you take a guess at which. Regardless, anyone who disappears like this is the worst of the worst. They repulse me, simply because they are cowards. I hate it when guys pussy-foot around something, and simply avoid the issue. This is why some men have no balls figuratively, and therefore deserve to also literally not have some. Or earn them. Or something. There's a whole new blog :How Men Could Earn Their Balls. But I digress.
My point here is, don't settle for these excuses. Ladies and men, both alike (although I have written it from a female perspective, I guess it could apply for females also. Although recently, no female has told me things are moving too quickly).
So, I repeat once again, there are nice guys that I know. But I am currently bitter, pissed off, and needed to vent. And now we all know the excuses that I, and possibly the rest of the female world, are sick to goddamn death of hearing
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