JessamyThings That Fill Me With Rage, Part III
April 18th 2008 09:43
Finally, I've accumulated enough rage for another post. It's been awhile, but today I'll be focussing more on the mundane rage-filling things, that make me want to hiss and explode (much like a fizzy Coke bottle).
Token Cleaning Efforts by family members/housemates
We've all been there, we've all witnessed it. But anyone who cleans only when John Howard says sorry and George W. Bush admits he was wrong, is a moron. Honestly, just because you mopped the floor once in the last three months does not, I repeat, NOT, qualify you for a 'get out of a cleaning free' card. Far from it, my sweet. It actually makes me even more annoyed, and wanting to drag you by your pale ear out into the kitchen, and throw you down onto the filthy tiled floor and make you lick it clean.
Snotty little blondes
At most times, I tolerate blonde haired girls and boys, because I attempt to embrace the world with both arms open. Mostly I fail, but at least I can then say 'I told you so'. However, snotty little blonde girls tend to wear an abundant amount of eye make up, loose weird tops and too-tight jeans, and constantly have a self righteous sneer on their faces that makes me want to slap them silly. Blonde males tend to have a similar attitude, except they can be described as 'aloof', not 'snotty'. NB: This only really applies to fake blondes. I find that genuine blonde haired people are actually quite approachable-it's the fake ones that you have to watch out for.
People who sleep in until 1pm
Firstly, you are a disgusting sloth who has no self motivation. Secondly, you cannot constantly hav the excuse of being out for the entire previous night. This is because I am applying this rule to people who sit up in their rooms watching movies and cartoons and sitting on MSN until 4am. That's not a social life, that's a descent into Geekdom. You didn't have a big night, you basically just had the equivalent of sex with your computer. And lazing around in bed until early afternoon is wrong on so many levels. Don't give me that nocturnal shit, because human beings are daytime orientated. You're defying your basic nature, and I can therefore rightly call you a freak. Go, skedaddle, absorb some sunlight.
Token Cleaning Efforts by family members/housemates
We've all been there, we've all witnessed it. But anyone who cleans only when John Howard says sorry and George W. Bush admits he was wrong, is a moron. Honestly, just because you mopped the floor once in the last three months does not, I repeat, NOT, qualify you for a 'get out of a cleaning free' card. Far from it, my sweet. It actually makes me even more annoyed, and wanting to drag you by your pale ear out into the kitchen, and throw you down onto the filthy tiled floor and make you lick it clean.
Snotty little blondes
At most times, I tolerate blonde haired girls and boys, because I attempt to embrace the world with both arms open. Mostly I fail, but at least I can then say 'I told you so'. However, snotty little blonde girls tend to wear an abundant amount of eye make up, loose weird tops and too-tight jeans, and constantly have a self righteous sneer on their faces that makes me want to slap them silly. Blonde males tend to have a similar attitude, except they can be described as 'aloof', not 'snotty'. NB: This only really applies to fake blondes. I find that genuine blonde haired people are actually quite approachable-it's the fake ones that you have to watch out for.
People who sleep in until 1pm
Firstly, you are a disgusting sloth who has no self motivation. Secondly, you cannot constantly hav the excuse of being out for the entire previous night. This is because I am applying this rule to people who sit up in their rooms watching movies and cartoons and sitting on MSN until 4am. That's not a social life, that's a descent into Geekdom. You didn't have a big night, you basically just had the equivalent of sex with your computer. And lazing around in bed until early afternoon is wrong on so many levels. Don't give me that nocturnal shit, because human beings are daytime orientated. You're defying your basic nature, and I can therefore rightly call you a freak. Go, skedaddle, absorb some sunlight.
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