JessamyThe smell of a fresh plastic bag
August 29th 2008 12:22
So, in order to debunk a few myths and fantasies about life as a checkout chick/guy/"service attendant", I'm pleased to bring you the most enlightening of blogs. I'd honestly call this a public service, creating awareness that in all honesty, no one likes a customer. No one likes a whiny, rude, arrogant customer, sure....but no one likes a customer, full stop. Aside from the money issue, every business would run better without customers. Especially the business I was lucky enough to land a casual job in-a supermarket. A cramped, bustling, centrally located supermarket well within the public's eye.
Apart from the obvious joys it brings me to pack peoples groceries for hours on end, the job of being a checkout 'operator' is satisfying in other ways. But, I'm not here to simply bore you with the highlights of my job-that's going to be revealed in its sweet time. No, quite simply, today is going to be focused on one thing: Plastic bags.
Quite simply, plastic bags are the devil. If Satan himself was to produce offspring, he would've plastic bags as part of the basic anatomy of said spawn. And recently the bags have been victimised in newspapers, on TV, and basically any other media outlet you come across. However, in saying all this, I'd like to add that if YOU, the customer, present US, the checkout operators, with twenty three cruddy, disgusting, ill-shaped, rainbow coloured felt/hemp/cotton bags, we will NOT be more inclined to pack your bags with care. In fact, we'll probably keep packing in plastic, ignoring your whining little cries of "Oh! But I have bags! They're just at the bottom of the trolley/out in the car/at home on the bench/of totally no use to you because they're two centimetres by two centimetres."
Pay attention here. Just for a second, that's all I ask.
We don't care if you have bags. Really. Plastic bags are just as easy to pack, sometimes more so. Your dirty, smeared, stained bags don't bring us any more pleasure. Personally, I hate handing out plastic bags left, right and centre for free-but by God, it's nicer than having to forcibly touch and then pack your green bags. Mmmmk?
On a slightly happier note, though-cannot wait for the plastic bag charges. The day that I can charge customers per bag is the day sweet victory is delivered by the supermarket gods. Old ladies, Asian men and middle aged couples beware. You'll no longer have the bags for bin liners/ man bags/ dog poo carriers. You may, instead, purchase them off us for a cost. Ten cents. And if I had my way, it'd be higher. Make it $1 per bag, and we may have an impact on the environment.
For now, that's all!
Apart from the obvious joys it brings me to pack peoples groceries for hours on end, the job of being a checkout 'operator' is satisfying in other ways. But, I'm not here to simply bore you with the highlights of my job-that's going to be revealed in its sweet time. No, quite simply, today is going to be focused on one thing: Plastic bags.
Quite simply, plastic bags are the devil. If Satan himself was to produce offspring, he would've plastic bags as part of the basic anatomy of said spawn. And recently the bags have been victimised in newspapers, on TV, and basically any other media outlet you come across. However, in saying all this, I'd like to add that if YOU, the customer, present US, the checkout operators, with twenty three cruddy, disgusting, ill-shaped, rainbow coloured felt/hemp/cotton bags, we will NOT be more inclined to pack your bags with care. In fact, we'll probably keep packing in plastic, ignoring your whining little cries of "Oh! But I have bags! They're just at the bottom of the trolley/out in the car/at home on the bench/of totally no use to you because they're two centimetres by two centimetres."
Pay attention here. Just for a second, that's all I ask.
We don't care if you have bags. Really. Plastic bags are just as easy to pack, sometimes more so. Your dirty, smeared, stained bags don't bring us any more pleasure. Personally, I hate handing out plastic bags left, right and centre for free-but by God, it's nicer than having to forcibly touch and then pack your green bags. Mmmmk?
On a slightly happier note, though-cannot wait for the plastic bag charges. The day that I can charge customers per bag is the day sweet victory is delivered by the supermarket gods. Old ladies, Asian men and middle aged couples beware. You'll no longer have the bags for bin liners/ man bags/ dog poo carriers. You may, instead, purchase them off us for a cost. Ten cents. And if I had my way, it'd be higher. Make it $1 per bag, and we may have an impact on the environment.
For now, that's all!
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Comment by CharlieMerlyn
While I think this is quite a nice idea, and not too much of a nuisance considering that most people buy books (and how hard is it to shove one of those in your purse/backpack/car?), us kids working at the registers will get abused at least once daily by furious customers who find the notion, 'ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! I'm spending a hundred dollars and you're going to CHARGE me for a PLASTIC BAG????' Well, as all our SIGNS say, 'it costs the environment a lot more'.
They don't seem to get that it is not, in fact, us meagre part-timers who come up with these rules, and no matter how many times you tell them, 'BORDERS DOES NOT PROFIT FROM YOUR TEN CENTS - WE SEND IT ALL TO COASTCARE, YOU'RE SAVING A DOLPHIN OR AN ERODING CLIFF OR SOMETHING', they will sometimes go as far as slamming their book on the counter, yelling 'WELL ANGUS AND ROBERTSON DON'T CHARGE FOR BAGS', and then proceeding to storm vehemently out of the store.
Good bloody riddance.
I hope plastic bags go up a dollar too. I really really want all those angry plastic bag fanatics to seriously PAY for their environmentally unfriendly attitudes.
The other day, as I posed the usual, 'Did you need a plastic bag with that? Wedochargeanextratencentsbuti tallgoestocharitythoughreally itdoesitgoestotoCoastCareactu allyisthatOKwithyoudoyoustill wantabag?', a friendly customer replied,
'Yes, that's fine for the charge. I think it's a great idea, really, to charge for bags. Why did you seem so nervous asking?'
I had to sigh in relief and tell him about the number of people who throw up a huge fuss over the charge when they probably wouldn't even notice if ten cents went missing from their wallet, nor would they pick up ten cents if it was sitting in the gutter.
So yeah, I agree with you; DOWN with plastic bags ... and DOWN with customers ... working in retail makes me hate everyone.
Damn the man! Save the Empire!
Comment by Jessamy
That's Pretty Intense