JessamyThe moves of the males
March 13th 2008 11:52
It's come to my attention recently that boys have moves. I can hear the sound of a thousand snorting “Well, duh”.......but bear with me.
I've heard of these mysterious 'moves' since the age of 4, when my mother first sent me off to school. In amongst the dangers of eating glue and why I perhaps shouldn't take lunch whenever I felt like it, there was a warning about the boys and their moves. Obviously, I didn't pay attention. I had lunch at 10:30 (funnily enough, my glue stick remained un digested). And, I also, I suppose, fell victim to the moves.
Let me examine in more detail what these moves actually are. They're not at all like Napolean Dynamite has his dancing moves. Those are an entirely different set of moves. However, his dancing prowess 'moves' fall painfully close to the sort of moves I mean. More so than the classic lean in and “Can I buy you a drink” routine.
See, these moves are subtler. Usually, the ones I've encountered are actually more a selling point of the guy himself, rather than a traditional pick up line. For example, for awhile I was seeing a photographer. Surprise, surprise, he whipped out the camera one afternoon (No, I was not nude, and nor did I end being so at any stage of said afternoon). However, the mere fact that he pulled out his camera and took photos of me was pretty special, in my eyes, anyway. Recently, I found out that he does this with most girls. Impressed, I was not. Pissed off? You bet.
You can tell me anything you like, wave the Freewill of the Press under my nose, blah blah, etc etc, but he knew exactly what he was doing there. He was pulling out his Acquired Move. Kind of like in video games, how after awhile you learn a 'special' move. That was his. Beware the man with a camera.
However, I've found other such moves. Like the comedian, who takes you to comedy shows so he can criticise and dissect their performance (however, you never actually see his performance). He impresses you with his in-depth comedy knowledge, and you henceforth feel obliged to laugh at all his jokes.
One obvious 'move' is the car. Nothing subtle at all about it-just a big, hotted up, noisy, and (in my view) embarrassing machine. The one that I had the, uh, pleasure of being driven around in was a Mitsubishi Magna, dark green, interior all done up, dashboard painted light green, exhaust all noisy and obnoxious, special 'rim' things on the wheels, and neon lights underneath the car. Mercy.
Unfortunately, I wasn't impressed. Still not so.
Moves exist in all forms, ladies. At face value, they're a good selling point about the guy, even something useful. Even I got a decent Facebook picture out of the photographer. However, all moves do in the long term is make you pissed off because you see them being used on others. Hrmmm?
I've heard of these mysterious 'moves' since the age of 4, when my mother first sent me off to school. In amongst the dangers of eating glue and why I perhaps shouldn't take lunch whenever I felt like it, there was a warning about the boys and their moves. Obviously, I didn't pay attention. I had lunch at 10:30 (funnily enough, my glue stick remained un digested). And, I also, I suppose, fell victim to the moves.
Let me examine in more detail what these moves actually are. They're not at all like Napolean Dynamite has his dancing moves. Those are an entirely different set of moves. However, his dancing prowess 'moves' fall painfully close to the sort of moves I mean. More so than the classic lean in and “Can I buy you a drink” routine.
See, these moves are subtler. Usually, the ones I've encountered are actually more a selling point of the guy himself, rather than a traditional pick up line. For example, for awhile I was seeing a photographer. Surprise, surprise, he whipped out the camera one afternoon (No, I was not nude, and nor did I end being so at any stage of said afternoon). However, the mere fact that he pulled out his camera and took photos of me was pretty special, in my eyes, anyway. Recently, I found out that he does this with most girls. Impressed, I was not. Pissed off? You bet.
You can tell me anything you like, wave the Freewill of the Press under my nose, blah blah, etc etc, but he knew exactly what he was doing there. He was pulling out his Acquired Move. Kind of like in video games, how after awhile you learn a 'special' move. That was his. Beware the man with a camera.
However, I've found other such moves. Like the comedian, who takes you to comedy shows so he can criticise and dissect their performance (however, you never actually see his performance). He impresses you with his in-depth comedy knowledge, and you henceforth feel obliged to laugh at all his jokes.
One obvious 'move' is the car. Nothing subtle at all about it-just a big, hotted up, noisy, and (in my view) embarrassing machine. The one that I had the, uh, pleasure of being driven around in was a Mitsubishi Magna, dark green, interior all done up, dashboard painted light green, exhaust all noisy and obnoxious, special 'rim' things on the wheels, and neon lights underneath the car. Mercy.
Unfortunately, I wasn't impressed. Still not so.
Moves exist in all forms, ladies. At face value, they're a good selling point about the guy, even something useful. Even I got a decent Facebook picture out of the photographer. However, all moves do in the long term is make you pissed off because you see them being used on others. Hrmmm?
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Thanks,
Jon.