JessamyThings That Fill Me With Rage Part II
March 25th 2008 06:59
Although I'm still trying to fully comprehend it, apparently my last little shriek into the wilderness (because let's face it, that's basically all this is) was...ahem...more noticed than my other shrieks. You people like it when I get angry, eh?
So, without further ado, let's jump pinky-toes-first into the guts and glory and ridiculousness that is what has filled my uni-student pacifist soul with rage, hatred, anger, and some of the other deadly sins this week.
PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS WALK SLOWLY:
Okay, this also depends on the surrounding environment. For example, I will not extend this to people who walk slowly in the privacy of their own homes. That's okay, do what you will in your own home, and I don't even mind if it's dirty or perverted. Maybe some people get kicks out of walking slowly, sensually, etc etc,trying-to-be- open-minded... But, and I repeat, but, in public, it's a totally different kettle of fish/dogs/tea leaves. Unless you are old-errr, incapacitated in some way, or are visually recognisable as being From The Country, I will personally mow you down behind. And not in a good way. If a person is just dawdling along up Swanston St during peak pedestrian hours (so probably between 5am and 4am, if we're being realistic), then they may well receive numerous Death Stares to the back of their head. And so it should rightly be.
I can't stand it when people sight see, gossip, and/or kick a Coke can up the street at .00005 km per hour. Especially if they're from the city! Country people, fine, just don your Akubra hat and we'll all think you're a cute little novelty with your belt knife and your leather jerkin, but city people?! Disgraceful! You know the rules already!!!!
This extends to people who don't move to the left hand side of the escalator. It's just the polite thing to do. If you're deliberatly not moving, expect a stairful of pissed-off business people in suits to be hungry for you lifeblood. They will shred you to pieces with their Blackberries. Just don't do it, people! I call for a damn overtaking lane. Or at least a delegated area of the street for the social unaware morons that can't pick the pace up to beyond that of a goldfish.
STUPIDLY EMOTIONAL AND/OR RIDICULOUS IN-JOKE MSN/MYSPACE NAMES
Now, me being the fortunate, fierce editing beast that I am, I don't have too many of these people on my MSN. Myspace is a different story, but I won't tread there. However, here is a sample of some of the names I've encountered (and no, none of the them are mine.)
-Emma I learnt the hard way to keep my mouth shut and smile
-***I DoN't WanNa Be aNyThinG oThEr thAn Me***
-i love lachlan so much...if he asked me to kill someone i would
-Webby-beer getting fat chicks laid for centuries
-BiG gIrLs dOn'T Cry
-Z @ I_ I_ ! K
-..::HASLA::.. T.C.W #4
..........All I wanted was your name! So I can identify you! I did not ask for an insight into your numerous emotional issues, nor did I want to know your current catchphrase (I'm looking at you, mr. beer man), or why you don't want to be anything other than you (to be honest, you don't have much a choice there).
I don't want to why so you love Lachlan so much and why you'd kill for him (although, I suspect that if that's truly the case you wouldn't be advertising it), and I certainly don't need to see the name of that repulsive Fergie song about girls not crying yadda yadda yadda rant rant rant.
My point here lovelies is that people can no longer just write their names. They need to somehow unique-ify themselves, distinguish themselves from the masses. And these folk do this by sharing why they're not crying, why they love their boyfriend/lipgloss/ captive pet rock so much, or how 'funneee' they found a particular joke. It's a waste of damn text, an eyesore, and it gives me no insight into their personality. Other than the fact that they're a moron and I should ignore anything that comes out of their mouths in future.
Phew. I'm happy I got that out of my system. I feel all sweet and light and full of pink bubbles of happiness now. I hope you feel the same.
So, without further ado, let's jump pinky-toes-first into the guts and glory and ridiculousness that is what has filled my uni-student pacifist soul with rage, hatred, anger, and some of the other deadly sins this week.
PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS WALK SLOWLY:
Okay, this also depends on the surrounding environment. For example, I will not extend this to people who walk slowly in the privacy of their own homes. That's okay, do what you will in your own home, and I don't even mind if it's dirty or perverted. Maybe some people get kicks out of walking slowly, sensually, etc etc,trying-to-be- open-minded... But, and I repeat, but, in public, it's a totally different kettle of fish/dogs/tea leaves. Unless you are old-errr, incapacitated in some way, or are visually recognisable as being From The Country, I will personally mow you down behind. And not in a good way. If a person is just dawdling along up Swanston St during peak pedestrian hours (so probably between 5am and 4am, if we're being realistic), then they may well receive numerous Death Stares to the back of their head. And so it should rightly be.
This extends to people who don't move to the left hand side of the escalator. It's just the polite thing to do. If you're deliberatly not moving, expect a stairful of pissed-off business people in suits to be hungry for you lifeblood. They will shred you to pieces with their Blackberries. Just don't do it, people! I call for a damn overtaking lane. Or at least a delegated area of the street for the social unaware morons that can't pick the pace up to beyond that of a goldfish.
STUPIDLY EMOTIONAL AND/OR RIDICULOUS IN-JOKE MSN/MYSPACE NAMES
Now, me being the fortunate, fierce editing beast that I am, I don't have too many of these people on my MSN. Myspace is a different story, but I won't tread there. However, here is a sample of some of the names I've encountered (and no, none of the them are mine.)
-Emma I learnt the hard way to keep my mouth shut and smile
-***I DoN't WanNa Be aNyThinG oThEr thAn Me***
-i love lachlan so much...if he asked me to kill someone i would
-Webby-beer getting fat chicks laid for centuries
-BiG gIrLs dOn'T Cry
-Z @ I_ I_ ! K
-..::HASLA::.. T.C.W #4
..........All I wanted was your name! So I can identify you! I did not ask for an insight into your numerous emotional issues, nor did I want to know your current catchphrase (I'm looking at you, mr. beer man), or why you don't want to be anything other than you (to be honest, you don't have much a choice there).
I don't want to why so you love Lachlan so much and why you'd kill for him (although, I suspect that if that's truly the case you wouldn't be advertising it), and I certainly don't need to see the name of that repulsive Fergie song about girls not crying yadda yadda yadda rant rant rant.
My point here lovelies is that people can no longer just write their names. They need to somehow unique-ify themselves, distinguish themselves from the masses. And these folk do this by sharing why they're not crying, why they love their boyfriend/lipgloss/ captive pet rock so much, or how 'funneee' they found a particular joke. It's a waste of damn text, an eyesore, and it gives me no insight into their personality. Other than the fact that they're a moron and I should ignore anything that comes out of their mouths in future.
Phew. I'm happy I got that out of my system. I feel all sweet and light and full of pink bubbles of happiness now. I hope you feel the same.
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Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
The wonderful Peter Yang's No.1 blog
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Cheers
Comment by Jessamy
That's Pretty Intense
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I agree with your irritation with slow-walkers, I too get vexed, especially when they take up the whole pavement. If we were in the middle of the countryside, I could be more forgiving, but inner-city Sydney...hurry up I say!!
Bye
Comment by Cibbuano
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Fat Cult
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Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
It'll happen to youuu!
Its like . . yeah.
Dont know what to do with my life
This mustard is slippery . . .
with absolutely no indication of their real name, and they usually have a really random hotmail address as well, like really whats the point
regarding the slow walking the general rule is NEVER EVER walk down Swanston St in Melbourne if you are in a hurry, it is a tourist wandering street where out-of-towners get off at flinders st station and meander around not knowing where theyre going . . . take a back street . . . or take a sedative lol
great post! i really enjoyed it!
Comment by Jessamy
That's Pretty Intense
Cibbuano- On the pavement, it's a fact of life that you'll be in someone's way. Even if you're not, you are....I think that's just how angry people think. Unfortunatly, I speak from the angry perspective. However, I'll take it into consideration next time and not clobber you with my ballet flat, if you like?
...and the mustard is slippery??! Someone's been taking food aids into the bedroom, I say!