JessamyAn observation on the state of Victoria's country trains, aka The Railway of Doom. (LINK)
March 7th 2008 01:06
V-Line is basically the most horrendously organised transport system in history. Forget yer' WWII concentration camp trains, forget yer' Genghis Khan 'elephants across icy mountains' routine, V-Line is where bad transportation is at.
Okay, slight exaggeration. But not by much. Yesterday I had the pleasure, nay, the priviledge, of travelling on this fine service. I'm somewhat of a regular customer, owing to my family living in rural Victoria, and me living in the "Big Smoke" (as they call it, in hillbilly terms. Yes, they do. Whilst wearing their Akubras and fitting the stereotype perfectly.) So I was subjected to not just approximately 3.5 hours of V-Line's hellish nightmare they like to call the North East line, but, because of 'track deterioration', the train's speed would be reduced, and we would have to take a bus for the last hour of the trip. The whole journey was estimated at 4.5 hours, with a few breaks in between. I swore that i would arrive home in my mid-forties, that's how long the trip felt like it would take.
Now, what on earth would deteriorate the tracks?....Excellent question. Apart from the obvious exposure to the weather, the only answer that occurred to me was.....the trains! Well done, V-Line, bet you didn't see that one coming. Maintenance is God, people. V-Line obviously are yet to learn this.
The only things that are vaguely entertaining are usually the other passengers (including the token chatty older lady and her silent husband), and the conductor's somewhat moronic announcements ("We've, uh, stopped here for twenty mintues so we don't hit another train").
I usually prefer trains to buses, cars, and the ever-expensive airplanes, but when trains involve travelling at speed akin to my 2 year old cousin, followed by the alluring promise of a bus ride filled with bogans, purple haired grandmas, the unkempt Youths Of Today, and whiny children, I have resolved to never, ever, ever, ever, as long as I shall live so help me Goddess, do this again. At least until Easter in two weeks.
Just wait until I have time to write about Connex.
Okay, slight exaggeration. But not by much. Yesterday I had the pleasure, nay, the priviledge, of travelling on this fine service. I'm somewhat of a regular customer, owing to my family living in rural Victoria, and me living in the "Big Smoke" (as they call it, in hillbilly terms. Yes, they do. Whilst wearing their Akubras and fitting the stereotype perfectly.) So I was subjected to not just approximately 3.5 hours of V-Line's hellish nightmare they like to call the North East line, but, because of 'track deterioration', the train's speed would be reduced, and we would have to take a bus for the last hour of the trip. The whole journey was estimated at 4.5 hours, with a few breaks in between. I swore that i would arrive home in my mid-forties, that's how long the trip felt like it would take.
Now, what on earth would deteriorate the tracks?....Excellent question. Apart from the obvious exposure to the weather, the only answer that occurred to me was.....the trains! Well done, V-Line, bet you didn't see that one coming. Maintenance is God, people. V-Line obviously are yet to learn this.
The only things that are vaguely entertaining are usually the other passengers (including the token chatty older lady and her silent husband), and the conductor's somewhat moronic announcements ("We've, uh, stopped here for twenty mintues so we don't hit another train").
I usually prefer trains to buses, cars, and the ever-expensive airplanes, but when trains involve travelling at speed akin to my 2 year old cousin, followed by the alluring promise of a bus ride filled with bogans, purple haired grandmas, the unkempt Youths Of Today, and whiny children, I have resolved to never, ever, ever, ever, as long as I shall live so help me Goddess, do this again. At least until Easter in two weeks.
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