JessamyThe smell of a fresh plastic bag
August 29th 2008 12:22
So, in order to debunk a few myths and fantasies about life as a checkout chick/guy/"service attendant", I'm pleased to bring you the most enlightening of blogs. I'd honestly call this a public service, creating awareness that in all honesty, no one likes a customer. No one likes a whiny, rude, arrogant customer, sure....but no one likes a customer, full stop. Aside from the money issue, every business would run better without customers. Especially the business I was lucky enough to land a casual job in-a supermarket. A cramped, bustling, centrally located supermarket well within the public's eye.
Apart from the obvious joys it brings me to pack peoples groceries for hours on end, the job of being a checkout 'operator' is satisfying in other ways. But, I'm not here to simply bore you with the highlights of my job-that's going to be revealed in its sweet time. No, quite simply, today is going to be focused on one thing: Plastic bags.
Quite simply, plastic bags are the devil. If Satan himself was to produce offspring, he would've plastic bags as part of the basic anatomy of said spawn. And recently the bags have been victimised in newspapers, on TV, and basically any other media outlet you come across. However, in saying all this, I'd like to add that if YOU, the customer, present US, the checkout operators, with twenty three cruddy, disgusting, ill-shaped, rainbow coloured felt/hemp/cotton bags, we will NOT be more inclined to pack your bags with care. In fact, we'll probably keep packing in plastic, ignoring your whining little cries of "Oh! But I have bags! They're just at the bottom of the trolley/out in the car/at home on the bench/of totally no use to you because they're two centimetres by two centimetres."
Pay attention here. Just for a second, that's all I ask.
We don't care if you have bags. Really. Plastic bags are just as easy to pack, sometimes more so. Your dirty, smeared, stained bags don't bring us any more pleasure. Personally, I hate handing out plastic bags left, right and centre for free-but by God, it's nicer than having to forcibly touch and then pack your green bags. Mmmmk?
On a slightly happier note, though-cannot wait for the plastic bag charges. The day that I can charge customers per bag is the day sweet victory is delivered by the supermarket gods. Old ladies, Asian men and middle aged couples beware. You'll no longer have the bags for bin liners/ man bags/ dog poo carriers. You may, instead, purchase them off us for a cost. Ten cents. And if I had my way, it'd be higher. Make it $1 per bag, and we may have an impact on the environment.
For now, that's all!
Apart from the obvious joys it brings me to pack peoples groceries for hours on end, the job of being a checkout 'operator' is satisfying in other ways. But, I'm not here to simply bore you with the highlights of my job-that's going to be revealed in its sweet time. No, quite simply, today is going to be focused on one thing: Plastic bags.
Quite simply, plastic bags are the devil. If Satan himself was to produce offspring, he would've plastic bags as part of the basic anatomy of said spawn. And recently the bags have been victimised in newspapers, on TV, and basically any other media outlet you come across. However, in saying all this, I'd like to add that if YOU, the customer, present US, the checkout operators, with twenty three cruddy, disgusting, ill-shaped, rainbow coloured felt/hemp/cotton bags, we will NOT be more inclined to pack your bags with care. In fact, we'll probably keep packing in plastic, ignoring your whining little cries of "Oh! But I have bags! They're just at the bottom of the trolley/out in the car/at home on the bench/of totally no use to you because they're two centimetres by two centimetres."
Pay attention here. Just for a second, that's all I ask.
We don't care if you have bags. Really. Plastic bags are just as easy to pack, sometimes more so. Your dirty, smeared, stained bags don't bring us any more pleasure. Personally, I hate handing out plastic bags left, right and centre for free-but by God, it's nicer than having to forcibly touch and then pack your green bags. Mmmmk?
On a slightly happier note, though-cannot wait for the plastic bag charges. The day that I can charge customers per bag is the day sweet victory is delivered by the supermarket gods. Old ladies, Asian men and middle aged couples beware. You'll no longer have the bags for bin liners/ man bags/ dog poo carriers. You may, instead, purchase them off us for a cost. Ten cents. And if I had my way, it'd be higher. Make it $1 per bag, and we may have an impact on the environment.
For now, that's all!
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